Bitter

At this point (19:15 JST) CNN remains unrealistically optimistic about Kerry’s chances, reporting Ohio as being “too close to call.” I don’t doubt that this could drag on for days, hinging entirely on how much bacon the lawyers can make with the provisional vote issue, but I don’t think it should. I think that, disappointing as it is, we have a Bush Lock™.

This is very bad news, but probably not for the reasons you’re thinking.

• We will have to endure (at least) four years of Democrats whining about the loss.
• We will have to endure (at least) four years of self-congratulatory Republican circle-jerks and chest-pounding.
• Americans living abroad now have to apologize even harder for being American. “Don’t blame me—I voted for Kerry” will become our new motto.
• [Obligatory serious point] Al-Qaeda can now justify their attacks on civilians by saying that America elected Bush fair-and-square.

Let’s try to look at the bright side:

• According to CNN’s exit polls, female voters solidly favored Kerry.

Democratic males! This is the time when your Democratic female friends need the most emotional support. Be there for them; go forth and get your mack on! Make the pale, sweaty Republicans jealous.

In closing:

It’s bitter, oh so bitter.

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