You’re my boy, Blue!

Here’s a little point of advice for the kiddies out there: When you’re out drinking with your friends, and they all insist that that girl over there keeps looking at you, remember this: They’re fucking drunk. Forgive them their misjudgment; would you do any different? Hell, I know I’d egg someone on like that just to see them make an ass of themselves. (I know they weren’t messing with me; I’m just saying is all.)

And allow me to give a quick lesson on etiquette: When you get an accidental 50% discount, give a little thanks to God, Allah, Buddha, Christopher Walken… whoever it is you believe in. Give thanks, and pick up the bill. It’s not every day you can save money like that. And before you start thinking that the cashier has the hots for you, remember this grave, solemn truth: You’re fucking drunk. (P.S. Thanks, big-eared, red-shirted lady.)

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Barking up the wrong tree

I thought it might be time again to take a look at what kinds of Google searches result in someone looking at this website. There have been some real winners lately:

• handjobs japanese girls
• マツケンサンバ
• nanoblogger
• face fuck
• amake mita french
• utada bittorrent exodus album
• howl’s moving castle kiss
• Howl’s Moving Castle movie ending spoilers
• “guitar samurai”
• song from nintendo ds commercial the way that you touched me
• hata guitar samurai
• “howl’s moving castle” – plot – bird – queen
• pep rally songs that make fun of people
• firefox theme japan
• my vacation in japan
• eazy breezy picture
• “nintendo ds” subway japan ad
• damn good handjobs
• PE YONJUN

I’m sorry to say that none of you found what you were looking for! Especially not some of you. Drink Coke, play again.

Ode to the Squirrel

Here’s a random little tidbit of reminiscence for you:

Squirrels can be too smart for their own good. My father has been gardening for years, and he’s tried all of the various anti-squirrel birdfeeders. Last winter, we had a cage-style one with holes large enough for small birds to get into, but not squirrels… or so we thought. One morning, right after the weather had turned really cold, we woke up to find a frozen squirrel stuck inside the cage. It had died of hypothermia in the night, desperately trying to escape the feeder. I have no idea how it got in, and it was a bitch-and-a-half to get it out. I should know, since the task of removing it was relegated to me. That’s what I get for going home for winter vacation.

In closing, enjoy this haikai piece I wrote about squirrels as part of my Ancient Japanese Literature final:

As snow falls softly
a squirrel plans his attack
bird feeder must fall
a frozen battle of wits
man versus determined beast

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Very strange

In a very strange twist of fate, my site now gets a decent number of hits from people searching Google for “Pe Yonjun” and numerous variations of his name. It appears that the new secret to success is:

1. Mention Pe Yonjun on your website
2. ???
3. Profit!

Countdown

I now leave in only five days. You’d think I’d be busy, but it’s actually still pretty boring here. However, something exciting for you: I have six Gmail invites to give out. Let me know if you want one.

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Update? Again?

Look at that! I’m updating this thing two days in a row! That just goes to show you how bored I am.

The one thing keeping me sane is yesterday’s release of Futurama vol. 4 on DVD. Honestly, it’s not as funny as Family Guy, but it’s still way up there. My girlfriend likes it better than The Simpsons, but I’m torn.

I was going to go to the driving range to hit some balls. I even bought a single club two years ago just for that. But I’ve been spending too much money lately, so I guess golf is out. Don’t you love reading about what I almost do?

The Minnesota State Fair is coming up. That should be good for a day’s worth of entertainment, and a week’s worth of calories.

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Mandarin is impossible

To everyone who has a beef with my Chinese accent:

请你看我的皮肤。我的皮肤很白。所以我是白人。白人不能说中文。

So eat it.

By the way, the amount of fun I’ve been having: 0

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All hail Harold & Kumar

I had the privilege of watching a sneak preview of Harold & Kumar go to White Castle the other day. It is phenomenal. I can honestly say that it is the new gold standard of stoner comedy.

I have two Gmail invites to give out. I know that practically everyone and their dog has a Gmail account by now, but if you still want to join the party drop me a line.

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Done and done

I’m now done with half of my biological science breadth requirements – Food Science 120 is now over! If you have a good short term memory you can do very well in this class without studying. Plus, you can watch the whole thing online and never go to a single lecture. What more could you ask for in a summer class?

Here’s a random tidbit for you: The band “Luggage” has a great track available for download on their website. It’s a bit unpolished, but it’s also extremely jazzy, very funky. Jive, even. Definitely give it a shot, but be forewarned that they don’t seem to have a CD available, so if you get hooked you’ll just have to tough it out.

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Argh! New iPods

I should have known. Just a week after I picked up a refurbished 30GB iPod, Apple releases updated models. Luckily there aren’t that many differences between the 3rd and 4th generation iPods, so I think I will be satisfied with my purchase.

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